Lying to Myself
by Sey
Summary: EP2&3. Amidala is realizing the truth, on what was and how life used to be. Sabe`, Rabe`, Eirtae`, and Dorme` are shaken by what they find. We also can’t forget the twins nor the two Jedi lover boys, can’t we? The first hand encounters of the Rising o
1. Amidala Naberrie`

It seems that life isn't real anymore

Lying to Myself 

Written by: Seyla Starrider & Qwi Xux

Date: July 20, 2001

Contact: [dpriser@aol.com][1] and [XImperialQwiXux@yahoo.com][2]

Rating: PG

Intent: Angst/Action

Note: This is somewhat a song-fiction. You might know the artist you might not. "Lying to Myself" is a song recorded by a new artist Ben Glover. We were stirred by this song cause of its lyrics pertaining to lying to yourself about the reality and truth at the events in which are happening. And lying about how things really are and what they really are. We picture Amidala Naberrie` doing the same to herself, giving this fiction the appropriate title Lying to Myself.

Thanks2: George Lucas and friends for creating the already known characters. Know we are receiving no money or anything for this work, only the satisfaction of releasing our feelings and allowing others to view them.

Time: After Episode II. Yes, my first version of Episode III and II, but II is a flash back sort of thing during the times it comes in. 

Summery: EP2&3. Amidala is realizing the truth, on what was and how life used to be. Sabe`, Rabe`, Eirtae`, and Dorme` are shaken by what they find. We also can't forget the twins nor the two Jedi lover boys, can't we? The first hand encounters of the Rising of the Emperor. Please R/R!!!  
  


** **

**Amidala Naberrie**

It seems that life isn't real anymore. Like this is all just a long nightmare that doesn't want to go away, haunting my dreams of restless sleep.

Maybe it is. But I know deep down, it's not.

For the first time since the news has been thrown upon my shoulders I believe I've come to accept the truth, the reality.

Anakin Skywalker, my husband, is gone.

They told me three years ago that he had perished while fighting in the Clone Wars along side of my dearly trusted friend General Obi-Wan Kenobi, who also was a Jedi Knight and his master. Even Obi-Wan saw Ani's X-Wing explode before his eyes, but with his eyewitness testimony I refused to even consider the verity.

I told myself that it wasn't true, that Ani was still alive, just hiding from the Empire, from the Emperor.

But I only deceived myself into believing lies of false hope. 

Before Obi-Wan took me and my children away from Coruscant and Naboo forever, he told me that he had been noticing things, signs that Anakin was facing a decision, a threat that might cost millions their lives.

I just would shrug off the idea, or any implication of something being wrong with Ani. I couldn't believe that my husband, the nicest being in the universe would even conceive any ideas of evil, much less allow others to die by his own hand. Though Obi-Wan knew Anakin wouldn't dare think of doing anything wrong, he had a funny feeling that he was being pushed by some 'unknown force' to do something wicked.

The suggestion of Anakin being pressured to do something unethical was a possibility. Even I, a Senator of the Republic, thought it was a reasonable evocation. It was very likely someone would try to hassle my husband to use his powers against us; in fact it had happened before.

Later that night I talked to Anakin about it, questioning him if something was going on that he wanted to talk about.

He told me that he had indeed been having the problems, and with a new young senator who came into office shortly before I did.

My reaction to the answer was a shocked and astonished, "What?"

To this day I still can't believe that I believed Dooku was involved with such bane works, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Anakin notified me of the senator's dabbling in the dark side of the Force. I don't think I helped much when I laughed at him.

It wasn't intentionally at him, but the idea that he could think Dooku would be caught up in such things. Especially when the man had a one-year-old fiery red haired daughter who was his pride and joy.

But I was wrong.

I refused to believe the man I loved and heard one of the twin's crying. I climbed up the stairs to the twins' room and picked up my two-year-old son Luke rocking him back to sleep from another nightmare. 

He had been having a few during that time and I thought of them as nothing more than too much sugar before bedtime.

Another mistake I mistook as harmless.

After Luke had finally fallen back into his dreams, this time I prayed it wouldn't be another nightmare, Anakin led me out to the balcony of our suite and retold me everything of his suspicions about Dooku.

He managed to convince me, not by the Force, but by facts that were now too causing me to be skeptical of Dooku. I advised Anakin to tell Obi-Wan as quickly as he could, and have Dooku inspected. If he was so sure of Dooku's involvement in the dark side, then go and tell the Jedi Council.

The next few weeks I upped my security as well as my children's, feeling a bit alarmed that someone eerie was watching me with hunting eyes ready to kill. Sabe` DeCoy and Rabe` Immerse as well as fair Eirtae` Sallow once again stayed by my side as my bodyguards and protectors.

Dorme`, a close family friend since my birth, was assisting in caring for the twin's, Luke and Leia.

Anakin too became more and more protective over the family, as well as over my handmaidens.

I didn't think much about it, but soon I began to notice the more shielding he was over me when he began to note everyone and everything that entered our suite. The first time I noticed his strange behavior was when the buzzer for the door rang and he jumped off the hover chair and insisted he attend to the door, reassuring Rabe` that he could take care of the door.

When this happened I was upstairs just exiting from the nursery from putting the kids to bed. I heard the persistence in Anakin's voice and I slowly glided down the stairs careful not to let him notice my presence.

Rabe` nodded to him and went to the kitchen to help the others prepare dinner.

Quietly, I watched from the staircase to see what he did.

He used the intercom and asked who it was. The figure answered, Obi-Wan Kenobi.

But who else would it be? We had invited him to dinner. I had thought, but still I stayed unseen listening and watching intently at my husband and his peculiar manner.

After that I could tell he used the Force before opening the door to be sure it wasn't a trick. When he did open the door I saw Kenobi with a grim expression on his face.

I frowned at his face. What was wrong? I questioned myself.

Forgetting about what had happened, I rushed down the stairs and greeted my older brother-like friend giving him a big hug. Then asked what was troubling him.

Obi-Wan had waved off the question. I knew he wanted to wait till after dinner before informing both of us.

The conversation was little during the meal, but polite and poised, though underneath our simulation masks of formality the three of us were quite nervous.

Then he revealed to us what had happened.

When Obi-Wan let out the news from his lips the sound of shattering glass burst out from the kitchen.

Both Anakin and I were about to get up from our seats, still a bit shocked a frightened by the news, but the Jedi Knight asked us to be seated and that he'd take care of it.

   [1]: mailto:dpriser@aol.com
   [2]: mailto:XImperialQwiXux@yahoo.com



	2. Sabe` DeCoy

It seems that life isn't real anymore

Lying to Myself 

Written by: Seyla Starrider & Qwi Xux

Date: July 20, 2001

Contact: [dpriser@aol.com][1] and [XImperialQwiXux@yahoo.com][2]

Rating: PG

Intent: Angst/Action

Note: This is somewhat a song-fiction. You might know the artist you might not. "Lying to Myself" is a song recorded by a new artist Ben Glover. We were stirred by this song cause of its lyrics pertaining to lying to yourself about the reality and truth at the events in which are happening. And lying about how things really are and what they really are. We picture Amidala Naberrie` doing the same to herself, giving this fiction the appropriate title Lying to Myself.

Thanks2: George Lucas and friends for creating the already known characters. Know we are receiving no money or anything for this work, only the satisfaction of releasing our feelings and allowing others to view them.

Time: After Episode II. Yes, my first version of Episode III and II, but II is a flash back sort of thing during the times it comes in. 

Summery: EP2&3. Amidala is realizing the truth, on what was and how life used to be. Sabe`, Rabe`, Eirtae`, and Dorme` are shaken by what they find. We also can't forget the twins nor the two Jedi lover boys, can't we? The first hand encounters of the Rising of the Emperor. Please R/R!!!  
  


** **

Sabe` DeCoy 

I crumbled to the ground when I heard the news creep from my companion's mouth in the other room. The elaborate glass vase which I had been trying to arrange with delicate and vibrant flowers and plants had slipped out of my hands shattering in hundreds of pieces all over the tile floor.

I felt like screaming, crying, laughing, and avenging my feelings of betrayal all at once.

Landing on the floor, I could feel tiny glass shards penetrate through my skin puncturing through my gown and my skin.

Had I heard everything correctly? Or was I just imagining things?

Trying to brace myself on the ground from falling on my back from the shock, I placed my hands firmly on the ground. I could feel glass puncture through my skin sending sharp tingling pains of agony throughout my body, but I ignored it.

A comforting hand rested on my shoulder. I knew who it was once he entered the room.

Dropping down onto his knee, Obi-Wan picked me up from the ground.

I couldn't move from the fear and tremors waving up and down my entire being. I felt paralyzed. I had no control of my movements or my tears. Inside my head, I kept reassuring myself that this wasn't happening.

He laid me on the couch and spread out my legs. Then grabbing my hands discovering the wounds and damage. He called over MD-3D, the med-droid, who had been stationed against the far wall waiting instructions for his duty.

As he tended to my hands, I looked up at Obi-Wan with distress in my eyes. "Tell what you said was only my imagination. Please tell me this isn't happening."

The Jedi Master once again got on his knees so he could be eye level to himself and me. "I'm sorry," he had mumbled low under his breath for only my ears.

That was when I collapsed, breaking down in tears.

Never in my entire life had I given out, even during the Battle of Naboo. Then why now? Why in front of Ben? And throughout that moment I wished it were all a dream.

But it's now.

The dream of peace has faded away, replacing it with the nightmare of war.

   [1]: mailto:dpriser@aol.com
   [2]: mailto:XImperialQwiXux@yahoo.com



	3. Dorme` Embrace

It seems that life isn't real anymore

Lying to Myself 

Written by: Seyla Starrider & Qwi Xux

Date: July 20, 2001

Contact: [dpriser@aol.com][1] and [XImperialQwiXux@yahoo.com][2]

Rating: PG

Intent: Angst/Action

Note: This is somewhat a song-fiction. You might know the artist you might not. "Lying to Myself" is a song recorded by a new artist Ben Glover. We were stirred by this song cause of its lyrics pertaining to lying to yourself about the reality and truth at the events in which are happening. And lying about how things really are and what they really are. We picture Amidala Naberrie` doing the same to herself, giving this fiction the appropriate title Lying to Myself.

Thanks2: George Lucas and friends for creating the already known characters. Know we are receiving no money or anything for this work, only the satisfaction of releasing our feelings and allowing others to view them.

Time: After Episode II. Yes, my first version of Episode III and II, but II is a flash back sort of thing during the times it comes in. 

Summery: EP2&3. Amidala is realizing the truth, on what was and how life used to be. Sabe`, Rabe`, Eirtae`, and Dorme` are shaken by what they find. We also can't forget the twins nor the two Jedi lover boys, can't we? The first hand encounters of the Rising of the Emperor. Please R/R!!!  
  


Dorme` Embrace 

I had been shutting the door to the twin's rooms when I first heard. I was in a bit of panic at first but I felt I needed to be strong for the children as well as the rest of the group. I knew Amidala was strong, but during this time, she leaned on her husband who was going through a lot already. It was my turn to be strong. Deep inside I knew our time of strength was going to grow dim, especially with Palpatine's betrayal not to just his own people of Naboo, but to the entire galaxy.

Sooner or later both Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker would be called of to war, no matter if they were Jedi or not.

Even if the ignorant beings did believe Palpatine that he'd protect them and stay a loyal Emperor to them, there was going to be a vast and bloody war, worse than the one back on Naboo.

It still sends shivers down my spine just thinking about how Palpatine could devise much less carry out such a deed, but he did.

   [1]: mailto:dpriser@aol.com
   [2]: mailto:XImperialQwiXux@yahoo.com



	4. Eirtae` Sallow

It seems that life isn't real anymore

Lying to Myself 

Written by: Seyla Starrider & Qwi Xux

Date: July 20, 2001

Contact: [dpriser@aol.com][1] and [XImperialQwiXux@yahoo.com][2]

Rating: PG

Intent: Angst/Action

Note: This is somewhat a song-fiction. You might know the artist you might not. "Lying to Myself" is a song recorded by a new artist Ben Glover. We were stirred by this song cause of its lyrics pertaining to lying to yourself about the reality and truth at the events in which are happening. And lying about how things really are and what they really are. We picture Amidala Naberrie` doing the same to herself, giving this fiction the appropriate title Lying to Myself.

Thanks2: George Lucas and friends for creating the already known characters. Know we are receiving no money or anything for this work, only the satisfaction of releasing our feelings and allowing others to view them.

Time: After Episode II. Yes, my first version of Episode III and II, but II is a flash back sort of thing during the times it comes in. 

Summery: EP2&3. Amidala is realizing the truth, on what was and how life used to be. Sabe`, Rabe`, Eirtae`, and Dorme` are shaken by what they find. We also can't forget the twins nor the two Jedi lover boys, can't we? The first hand encounters of the Rising of the Emperor. Please R/R!!!  
  


** **

Eirtae` Sallow 

** **

I had been with Rabe` Immerse, one of my closest friends, talking with her in our rooms, when Dorme` entered. Our pervious conversation ceased, plunging into a deep eerie silence. Rabe` was the first one to move.

"What's wrong?" she asked the older woman in concern.

I could've sworn that I actually saw water in Rabe`'s eyes when Dorme` told us. I felt like crying myself, but the shock took me over.

I was frozen in place.

This couldn't be happening. Why in Kessel would Chancellor Palpatine go against us? Rise up against the entire Republic and claim himself as Emperor.

But no matter how hard I tried to deny the cold hard fact, deep down I knew he had betrayed us long before this.

Zoning back into reality I jumped off the floor. "We have to get out of here. If Palpatine is going up against us he will stop at nothing till we're all dead."

Dorme` disagreed. "Palpatine may have done this but he wouldn't d—"

"Why not? If he wants power so much, why stop now?" I poised.

  
The three of us now stood in silence, not knowing what to do. Suddenly we all broke into a dead run down the stairs, careful not to wake the twins and quietly strolled into the living room where Sabe` lay weeping on the couch, with bandaged hands. Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin's Jedi Master, held her in his arms cradling the fear away.

He noticed us and motioned for us to come in. "Eirtae`, would you please go get Ami and Anakin?"

I only nodded and proceeded to do my task.

   [1]: mailto:dpriser@aol.com
   [2]: mailto:XImperialQwiXux@yahoo.com



End file.
